Everybody is Stressed, but What Can You do About it?
I’ve been a therapist now since 2004 and, for most of that time, when people asked me what I specialised in, I told them that anxiety disorders and work-related stress management were my forte but, on reflection, and for several years now, I would say that both life and work have made me a stress specialist.
That term still covers anxiety disorders and work-stress but, it also covers a whole lot more. Stress affects us all and we are becoming more stressed, not less so. In fact, research from the Chartered Institute of Development has found staff absences due to stress are at their highest levels in over a decade, with the pandemic, the high cost of living and other issues all being significant contributing factors, (click here). But what is stress?
According to the World Health Organisation, “stress can be defined as a state of worry or mental tension caused by a difficult situation.”
However, there are two types of stress: good stress (eustress) and bad stress (distress).
Eustress refers to the sort of challenge and pressure that you thrive under or rise to meet with excitement. It could be a work deadline, or a wedding, or a rollercoaster ride. Meanwhile, distress is what we often mean when we are talking about ‘stress.’ It can refer to seemingly insurmountable pressures in any context (life or work), pressures that you feel you can’t cope with, or are not dealing with as well as you’d like. But stress isn’t a diagnosis in and of itself. It’s an umbrella term for a variety of things including:
- Anxiety
- Reactive depression
- Anger-management
- Guilt
- Shame
- Procrastination
- Insomnia (often stress related)
- Skin conditions such as psoriasis (also often stress related)
- Irritable Bowel Syndrome, or IBS, (nearly always stress related)
You can turn to unhealthy coping strategies when you are stressed, such as alcohol, drugs (both prescription and recreational) and comforting eating. Stress can wear you down, it can affect you physically as well as mentally. You can become distracted, less productive, more forgetful, and more prone to illness (stress affects your immune system). Chronic work stress even has its own diagnosis: Burnout Syndrome. This is a purely occupational phenomenon not official recognised until 2019 and characterised by exhaustion, increased negativity (or cynicism) towards your job, and reduced professional efficacy.
Stress is such as small word for something with so many distressing ramifications.
Stress affects both your mind and your body. A little bit of it is good for you, but too much stress can easily overwhelm you. And we are living in a very stressful world; one that doesn’t seem to be interested in getting any easier. Stress quickly mounts up and it soon takes its toll.
Thankfully, there are things you can do to help mitigate your stress, such as yoga, meditation, taking regular breaks, and going for long walks. And, if those things aren’t enough then therapy and coaching can help.
I practice rational emotive behaviour therapy (REBT) and clinical hypnotherapy, and both can help you mitigate your stress and build effective coping strategies in the face of it. With REBT and hypnotherapy the seemingly insurmountable obstacles in your daily live become something much easier to deal with.
So, if you think your stress is getting the better of you, feel free to book a call. I work face-to-face and online and can see anyone, anywhere (time zones permitting). And online therapy is just as effective as face-to-face, studies say so (click here).
Life Lessons are not Always Appreciated
It would appear that symbols of triumph over adversity are sadly lost on some people, even when said symbols are quite literally flourishing right in front of them.
I’m lucky in that the housing development I live in is built on the edge of what was once a churchyard. The church is long gone, but the grounds remain, and so what is now a lovely little park actually sits on my doorstep. It features a large lawn, a war memorial, several trees, squirrels galore, park benches and even a picnic table. It also often contains people walking their dogs or just chilling out in the space.
It’s certainly a beautiful view from my living room windows and one that I never fail to appreciate.
Sadly, in the four years that I’ve lived here several trees have been lost to the storms, felled by ferocious winds that are now a constant feature of the British weather.
One such tree was literally split in two by a particular violent episode about two years back. One half of it fell to the floor and one half remained. However, the remnants of its once proud boughs and trunk were, for safety’s sake, quickly chain sawed down to a mere stump that stood a little over waist height.
Undaunted by the spate of adversity it had faced, the tree stump decided to carry on regardless. The following spring, tiny shoots poked their way out from the reduced trunk and quickly grew into small branches. Each branch sprouted buds that blossomed and became leaves. For two whole summers, it wore those branches and leaves like a verdant, pagan crown. You can see the results in the picture at the top of this post.
I loved that tree stump; it was like a glorious “fuck you” and “bring it on!” to the challenges that life can chuck your way.
Sadly, as of today, that stump is no more. Bristol City Council in its infinite wisdom, or lack thereof, decided to butcher it, to take a chainsaw to that glorious symbol of fortitude and reduce it down to a mere plinth.
It will neither bud nor blossom again.
If asked for a comment, I’m sure some official at the council would say something bland and officious about health and safety.
You can survive any predicament in life, except for the things that kill you, and while that tree survived the storms, it could not survive officialdom.
Goodbye valiant little tree stump, I will always value the life lessons you taught me even if Bristol City Council will not.
October Mental Health
It’s cold, it’s wet, winter is on its way and it’s getting darker for longer. Seasonally Adjusted Disorder aside, there’s a lot to feel down about this month but there is also a lot you can do about it as, mental health and wellbeing-wise, there’s quite a bit going on this October. Not only do we have World Mental Health Day, but we also have that perennial NHS stop smoking initiative, Stoptober. Stopping smoking will do wonders, not only for your physical health but also for your mental health. But, what exactly is the link between smoking and mental health?
Most people who smoke say smoking relaxes them but it can’t. It just can’t. Nicotine is a stimulant you see, not a relaxant. Smoke too much and you become over stimulated and more prone, therefore, to stress and anxiety. Studies have also shown that, over time, smokers are more likely to become depressed than non-smokers.
When you quit the fags, however, you’re more likely to feel more calm and positive. There’s a strong correlation between quitting and improved life satisfaction levels. You’ll feel more in control for a start. Some studies have suggested that the beneficial effects of stopping smoking on anxiety and depression can equal that of medications often prescribed for the two conditions.
By the by hypnotherapy (of which I am both a proponent and a practitioner) is one of the more successful methods for stopping smoking.
World Mental Health Day, meanwhile, is an opportunity for us all, at both a professional (i.e., at work) and personal level (i.e. in our day-to-day lives), to increase awareness of and decrease the stigma attached to mental health issues.
I personally would like to get to the point where going for a mental health check up is seen as just as important and just as routine as going to the doctors or the dentists.
Held every year on 10 October, the theme for this year’s World Mental Health Day is suicide (and more importantly) suicide prevention.
Every year 80,000 people around the world take their own life and many more attempt it. Here in the UK, it is the leading cause of death among young people aged 20-34 years.
Do you have a mental health advocate where you work? If so, ask them what they have planned for the day.
Or perhaps, think about what you can do to help.
For more information on World Mental Health Day click here and for more information on Stoptober click here.
Happy Talk, Keep Talking Happy Talk
Almost all human beings have a tendency to focus on the negative. This is a bit of a bummer when you think about it. Enter then, positive psychology, which is the science of thinking, feeling and acting yourself into a happier state of mind. Want to know more? Read more
Mental Health is Normal
I think one of the most surprising things about psychotherapy is that, despite the many, many strides in mental health awareness, more than a fair few people are still loathe to admit that they just might have mental health issues. But, guess what? Having a mental health issue is completely normal. Read more
Stop Saying Sorry (unless you mean it)
Going against what Elton John famously sang, sorry doesn’t seem to be the hardest word at all. In fact, it’s thrown around every day and everywhere with a wild and empty abandon. And that is a sad, sad situation. Read more
Think of a Therapist as a Mechanic for your Mind
Some people are a little put off by psychotherapy, and so approach it with caution, while others are too scared to go for therapy at all, even though they know they need it. There’s still a lot of stigma attached to mental health issues, but therapy need not be such a scary thing. As the self-development guru, Wayne Dyer, once famously said, “when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” Read more
Mental Health: It’s all about the balance
Everything exists in a state of balance, or homeostasis; that never ending attempt to find an equilibrium, that place where opposing forces and influences are balanced, where a sense of calm is achieved and where everything can perform at its best. This is especially true of physiological processes, but it is also true of psychological processes. But, what happens when that balance is sent out of kilter? Read more
Therapy: Physical Fitness for your Mind
Despite the best efforts of the media and mental health professionals there is still, sadly, as stigma surrounding mental health. Many people regard psychotherapy and counselling sessions with fear and trepidation. But, there is a different view you can take. As the old adage says, “when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” Time then, to think of a therapist as nothing more than a fitness instructor for your mind. Read more