Not So Crazy in Love
Today, is February 14th; Valentine’s Day, the day for lovers, the day for romance, the day for card companies, florists, chocolatiers, jewellers, and restaurants up and down the country to make you make the most of this day, come what may. Back in the day (my day, that is) you were lucky if you got a small card and a cup of tea in bed. Now, it’s nothing but pressure to perform, please and be more loved-up than thou (we can partly blame social media for the latter, but only partly). Basically, Valentine’s Day has gone and gotten all a bit crazy, when you think about it.
But then, love is not the most rational of emotions.
Enter then, Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT). Not only is it a form of psychotherapy but it is also considered to be a school of thought. This means that, while it is great for dealing with specific emotional problems such as anger, anxiety, depression, jealousy and so on, it is also (and at the same time) a brilliant way of looking at life and all of life’s problems in a whole new way.
This is important as irrationality surrounds us and penetrates us (a bit like The Force in Star Wars only crap), and it can bind us together in unhelpful ways if we are not careful.
With it, we can develop the tendency to blow things out of proportion, magnify their difficulty, throw our toys out of the pram and, generally, rush headlong into foolish decisions that we later regret.
REBT offers a way of stepping back a little, and of questioning a thought and the emotion it engenders, before you react (or overreact) according to it.
Once you start to question the validity and rationality of your thoughts, you will soon start to see just how silly life, and by default, our everyday language really is. Like, really, amazingly, off-kilter crazy.
This goes double for love songs.
To find out how truly ludicrous love songs actually are, to wise up to their irrationality, please read my new post over at Psychology Today (click here).
As you do so, whilst remembering that Valentine’s Day can be as restrained or as OTT as you allow it to become, it means that you can still be as romantic as you wish, but it also means you won’t be no fool for love (or any other emotion) again.
How’s that for heart-warming?
Brand New Bristol Based Therapist
Well, fairly new; well, sort of new. New-ish; okay, I moved here from London in January 2016 but, due to other work commitments, it’s taken me this long to sort a private practice out. However, I am a psychotherapist and I’ve been working as one since 2004. Read more
Why You Need to Give up Your Demands
In Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT), the form of Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) that I advocate, we say that your demands are at the root of your psychological disturbance. But, what is a demand exactly, and how does it disturb you? Read more
Gay Affirmative Therapy
The LGBTQIA community faces the same problems as everyone else. They also face problems that can be very different to those experienced by mainstream society. For various reasons, many prefer a therapist, if not of the same sexuality as them, then at least with a clear understanding of LGBTQIA issues. Many fear finding a therapist that is homophobic or one whose religious beliefs would conflict with their ability to help. Enter then, the world of gay affirmative therapy.
Do You Want to Feel like Spring has Sprung?
It’s Easter, a time for renewal, rebirth and resurrection, a celebration of new life and the passing of spring into summer. It’s also the time for a good old spring clean, literally, metaphorically, physically and emotionally. So, as the days get longer, brighter and warmer and as summer beckons, where do you want to start? Read more
Jealousy: Can you tame the green-eyed monster?
Jealousy is a complicated emotion and one you experience when you feel your relationship is under threat. It’s an age-old concept and was even mentioned in the bible where (depending on which version you’re reading) it either compared to a cancer or you’re warned that it will rot your bones. But, is jealousy a beast and can it be tamed? Read more